Pornography: What to do when it finds you

If you are around social media, there is a movement going around with statements like"Porn Kills Love" and the like. The pornography epidemic is serious and has gotten worse in recent years. Porn kills love, yes, but more specifically it kills relationships, families, children, marriages; everything that builds our communities. As we destroy these sacred relationships, we are destroying our community. It's a horrible, vicious cycle!

The porn industry makes over $13 billion per year; that is more than the NFL, NBA, and MLB combined. 90% of children first viewed porn as 8-16 years old, mostly while doing homework! The average age children first view porn is 11. ELEVEN. This is a serious issue.

It is no secret that I am a member of the LDS Church. I absolutely love my faith and embrace its teachings. The Church recently released this video:

It is fantastic! It is geared towards children, but we really should embrace it ourselves as adults! It gives the following advice in order to avoid the evils of pornography:

1. Call it what it is.

A lot of times we won't recognize fully what we are seeing. We can lie to ourselves and say a pornographic image is justified because it's human, it's a part of a movie and I don't want to miss any part of the plot, or even "it makes me feel good, and I am still a good person after watching it. Why should I change when I'm stronger than that?" In reality, yes, we have our free will to act for ourselves and to control our actions and even our thoughts. However, the truth is we are always affected by our surroundings regardless of how "strong" we are. When we learn to call pornography exactly what it is, we are that much closer to beating it.

2. Turn it off or turn away.

Like the children in the video describe, these images can make us curious, even if we know it is bad. We are human, simple as that. It takes a lot of courage to shut our laptops down, turn off our phones, turn off the TV, and walk away. The faster you decide to do this, the easier it will get for you. Make the decision before it even happens to close out and walk away. Go as far as deleting apps that frequently give you pornographic images or blocking certain websites.

3. Talk to a trusted adult (spouse, friend, parent, Church leader like your Bishop)

This might seem silly to adults. Maybe we feel ashamed that we were put in that situation. Maybe we even think we are fine because we did the first steps. Josh and I make a point to avoid pornography in every sense of the word. We have turned off movies before because of a sex scene or even a scene that eludes to something inappropriate. It's so important to us as a couple to be pure and faithful to each other that we don't take this lightly. If you are married, talk to your spouse about a plan and what actions you will take to avoid these situations. If you're not married, make a list and commit to yourself what you will do when that time comes.


I can't emphasize enough how important it is to kill pornography before it kills us from the inside out. You may think it's nothing to be concerned about, but it is real, it is scary, and we need to take control of our lives.

What else can we do to avoid allowing porn into our lives?

7+ Blessings from Serving: LDS Mission style

For those of you that have served missions, you understand the exponential blessings that come to you and your family from your service. In your sacrifice you gain parts of yourself you never thought were possible and lose parts of yourself you never thought were detrimental. You come to find yourself in more ways than one can portray in a lifetime, let along a blog post. The following points are skills I gained from my service as a missionary that carries me though my life.

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1. making correct decisions | this has a lot to coming to know God and His light. He has given us Jesus Christ as an exemplar for each of us. I now know how to make correct decisions for my life, whether it be my major in college or the man I married. That is a whole other story, but let's just say I chose correctly and my consequences support that.

2. understanding my needs | I was always a people-pleaser growing up, not ever standing up for my own beliefs. I wanted to be accepted and so I went along with whatever was going on. Yet throughout my teenage years, I made great decisions. I grew to learn to respect myself. No drugs, sex, alcohol, etc. On my mission, I understood them greater and you want to know how I did that? By serving other people. I learned the most about myself when I was serving strangers.

3. building confidence | I could knock on strangers' doors and have them invite me in. I did this on a daily basis. I could challenge people to keep commitments and follow up with them. I could talk to people on the street. I discovered why I was out there and held true to my faith. I discovered I could do anything if I took the right path. I built confidence by coming to know my Savior, serving other people (amazing the repercussions of that choice), and learning I have a purpose.

4. knowing how to connect with people | Listening is the heart of any relationship [missionary work] I think. If you can learn to listen, you can instantly win the hearts of anyone in the room. You stand out. It's normal for us as human beings to want to be heard. It's takes patience, temperance, and love to listen, and really listen to what others' are saying. When you truly listen, you start to understand them, that that is the beginning of your connection.

5. organizing goals and priorities | Every day for 18 months I wrote down my life in a pocket-sized spiral notepad. Every evening my companion and I sat down and make goals on how many people we would talk to, which people we would extend commitments to, and personal spiritual/physical/mental goals. We then got into more depth every week in a weekly planning session. We even changed ideas and wrote down thoughts throughout the day. However, I only learned the importance of goals because I learned how to work.

6. how to work | Sadly, there are some people that do not know the value of work. My dear husband is one of those people that does truly have a testimony of work. Not just hard work, which is needed, but smart work. Learning how to get up, make goals, and to go work is invaluable in life. And I learned how to in Missouri.

7. strengthening relationships | I mentioned before how listening is truly a lost art and can take you miles. While I learned to gain trust and to trust, this point is mostly based on my family. I missed my family. I think it's true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. While I only heard from my family via a single email every week, I learned so much more about them. We actually had to tell each other stuff. We actually got to share our trials and hardships. We shared our feelings. It got raw and deep and beautiful. I learned how to connect with people, and in turn I learned how to strengthen the relationships that matter most.

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As I was preparing to leave the mission field and become a civilian again, many would ask this question: "What was the most important thing you learned on your mission?" If you've ever been asked that more than once, I bet you have answered differently each time. I know I have. But now that I've been home over 3 years, I think I have pinpointed the most important thing I have learned. I learned what the gospel is truly about: relationships. Relationships with strangers, with acquaintances, with co-workers, with friends, with family, with yourself, and most importantly, with God and Jesus Christ. The more I study, the more I am convinced.

What have you learned from your service?